Kids Hate Disco
Damn you Scenesters, and those that missed the boat the first go around! There's this dreadful organization that's hosting an overpriced party for babies and their stupid parents called "Babies Love Disco." I'd be fine if it was in cities like NYC or LA where people would be expected to have issues with being square parents. But no. Orlando is always 2-5 years behind the trends, and now this trendy tripe is rolling to the Club.
Now, for those of you who forgot the 1990s, the Club was the site of quite a few drug-induced rapes, overdoses, and fucking in the toilets. A few people died. A lot of people did ecstasy and danced through the night until they issued a curfew. Was it the best of times? Was it blissful community? Wake up, assholes. Rave was first and foremost about the drugs, as drugs for some reason were amplified by the music.
And now these clueless jerks want to drag their kids into this scene? The big question I have is "Why?" You live in freaking Orlando! It's pretty sunny. You have all these public parks. You have the theme parks. And yet you have to fulfill some god awful need of making your baby "cool" and bringing them to some geeked up disco day party with a $12 cover?
I've done a lot of dumb stuff with my kids, but never in a million years would I say "kids, I'm gonna stroll you to a club. Nevermind the stink of cigarettes and spilled beer and vomit. You dance in the "kids cavern" while I bump some lines on the bar with other folks who can't accept the responsibility of being a parent.
If you want to go to a club so bad, do what everyone else did: GET A BABYSITTER.
If you want to dance with your kid so bad, PLAY MUSIC AT HOME!
The whole spirit of raves- besides making lots of money off drugged up idiots - was to liberate the music from the confines of space. You rave in a cow pasture. You rave in a warehouse. You rave in a subway station. So you're now - because you can't get over the fact that you're OLD- dragging your poor child to a club and basically telling that child you can't party unless its at a club and you're paying stupid cover charges and some old dude is spinning shitty old records.
Wake up! The kids are united. It's called fucking Radio Disney! AM 990, asshole!
Sadly, this is the doing of folks in their 30s/40s who can't leave their teens and 20s behind. What's next- Babies Love Strippers? Bring your kid to a topless bar, let them lapdance on teh strippers lap. Develop nursing envy.
Age gracefully. Kids hate disco. You're embarassing yourself and your kids. And all these indie scenesters who are forcefeeding their kids their music- have the stones to be a parent. Be the adult. You're kids will have plenty of friends who'll give them the worse advice. They only have you to lead by example, and reinforce with words and kindness.
And if you are hype on kids hate disco, be honest about it. It's not about your kid. It's about you. Your child will go along to make you happy. The only upside is that you're dropping $12-24 dollars for this stupid party. Sucker!
Now, for those of you who forgot the 1990s, the Club was the site of quite a few drug-induced rapes, overdoses, and fucking in the toilets. A few people died. A lot of people did ecstasy and danced through the night until they issued a curfew. Was it the best of times? Was it blissful community? Wake up, assholes. Rave was first and foremost about the drugs, as drugs for some reason were amplified by the music.
And now these clueless jerks want to drag their kids into this scene? The big question I have is "Why?" You live in freaking Orlando! It's pretty sunny. You have all these public parks. You have the theme parks. And yet you have to fulfill some god awful need of making your baby "cool" and bringing them to some geeked up disco day party with a $12 cover?
I've done a lot of dumb stuff with my kids, but never in a million years would I say "kids, I'm gonna stroll you to a club. Nevermind the stink of cigarettes and spilled beer and vomit. You dance in the "kids cavern" while I bump some lines on the bar with other folks who can't accept the responsibility of being a parent.
If you want to go to a club so bad, do what everyone else did: GET A BABYSITTER.
If you want to dance with your kid so bad, PLAY MUSIC AT HOME!
The whole spirit of raves- besides making lots of money off drugged up idiots - was to liberate the music from the confines of space. You rave in a cow pasture. You rave in a warehouse. You rave in a subway station. So you're now - because you can't get over the fact that you're OLD- dragging your poor child to a club and basically telling that child you can't party unless its at a club and you're paying stupid cover charges and some old dude is spinning shitty old records.
Wake up! The kids are united. It's called fucking Radio Disney! AM 990, asshole!
Sadly, this is the doing of folks in their 30s/40s who can't leave their teens and 20s behind. What's next- Babies Love Strippers? Bring your kid to a topless bar, let them lapdance on teh strippers lap. Develop nursing envy.
Age gracefully. Kids hate disco. You're embarassing yourself and your kids. And all these indie scenesters who are forcefeeding their kids their music- have the stones to be a parent. Be the adult. You're kids will have plenty of friends who'll give them the worse advice. They only have you to lead by example, and reinforce with words and kindness.
And if you are hype on kids hate disco, be honest about it. It's not about your kid. It's about you. Your child will go along to make you happy. The only upside is that you're dropping $12-24 dollars for this stupid party. Sucker!
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